Trying To Be Somebody

Should you try to be somebody?
Should that be your driving force?

I think it should not be your driving force, I think that everybody should do their best in what they do but not to be somebody but to put to good use their innate talents and not waste them.
But when you have an ego that has been hurt or you are oversensitive and make a big deal of when people tell you you are no good and you believe it, then you’ve got a problem

I’m 68 years old and sometimes I still want to be somebody, what does that even mean “Wanting to be somebody”
Well to me it means wanting to be unique, standing out from the crowd, and not being just one more, is it something we all are looking for? I ask myself, maybe.

Maybe this photographic hobby was an attempt to be somebody.
So I found out about 2 years ago that it’s a waste of time trying to be somebody, first of all, I was trying to be somebody because I felt that I was nobody, a speck on the windshield, a grain of sand on a beach etc etc, I felt I had to stand out, but then I realized it was a waste of time because I didn’t need to stand out, why did I need to stand out? because I felt like a speck, so if I didn’t feel like a grain of sand on a beach then I didn’t need to stand out, my quest would disappear, and then I started to search why I felt so bad, and haven’t found the answer, maybe something that happened in my past in my childhood, don’t know, but I’m going to abandon that feeling.
But one thing is for certain as I get older I am starting to not care about many existential things, and I’m starting to realize that I better take care of the time I have left and spend it on important things instead of trying to find the reason for anything, so I’m doing that, better late than never.
I don’t know if this happens to all humans as they grow old but that is not important, what’s important is to spend time well spent, and that means spending it with family, it doesn’t get any better than that.
Photo above taken at the Ontario Ca. Car Show on Sept. 17 2022
taken with a Gopro 8

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